SHE talk

wishing you a happy new year with a fabulous website!

2010-01-02T11:43:00.002-05:00

The Beautiful Cervix Project. Check it out ya'll....literally!

The Ins & Outs of Female Masturbation workshop

2009-07-22T18:32:00.005-05:00

hey hey, the first workshop in may was postponed. so for those who couldn't make it - now's your chance! come on down. the only thing you have to lose is your inhibitions!

WHAT: The Ins & Outs of Female Masturbation

WHEN: Friday August 7
7pm

WHERE: Aphrodite Gallery at Passional Toys
620 South 5th Street,Philadelphia, PA 19147

This interactive workshop will explore the historical and societal influences on female masturbation. We will examine implicit and explicit messages we have received about masturbation and consider our values about this form of sexual expression. Participants will learn several tips for enhancing their masturbation experience.

Space is limited!! Register by calling (215) 829-4986 or click here to register!

The Ins & Outs of Female Masturbation workshop - postponed

2009-04-29T13:43:00.007-05:00

POSTPONED...

WHAT: The Ins & Outs of Female Masturbation

WHERE: Aphrodite Gallery at Passional Toys
620 South 5th Street,Philadelphia, PA 19147

This interactive workshop will explore the historical and societal influences on female masturbation. We will examine implicit and explicit messages we have received about masturbation and consider our values about this form of sexual expression. Participants will learn several tips for enhancing their masturbation experience.

Participants will also find out how to participate in Philly's first Masturbate-a-Thon!

Register by calling (215) 829-4986 or click here to register

Help Me Win the Masturbate-A-Thon!

2009-04-23T13:31:00.004-05:00

In case you haven't heard the good news, May is National Masturbation Month. To help raise money for Mazzoni Center's Women's Health Initiative, I am participating in Philadelphia's first Masturbate-A-Thon!

Why? Masturbation remains taboo and has been stigmatized throughout history. The very mention of it as healthy and normal resulted in the firing of U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders. Yet masturbation is an effective way to express one's sexuality, free from risk of pregnancy or STDs.

Help celebrate this holiday by pledging your support for my participation in the Masturbate-A-Thon. Contest ends May 16th so I need to receive all pledges before then. (If you would rather be a participant, please email me at eliciacrystal@gmail.com to request a pledge form.)

Show you believe in sexual freedom for all! Donate today!

come to the "hot button" happy hour!

2009-04-01T14:45:00.001-05:00

we've come a long way baby?

2009-03-16T19:36:00.000-05:00

yesterday on my plane ride home, i continued reading "sex for one," bettie dodson's book about masturbation. she started consciousness-raising groups in 1973 for women to help them learn about their bodies and sexuality. the sexual revolution was in full swing yet masturbation remained taboo and unfamiliar to women across the u.s. bettie talked about women in her groups who never had orgasms and others who were ashamed to touch their genitals. others still did not know a thing ther anatomy.

fast forward nearly 40 years - are women in the same boat? have we progressed? i wonder. this weekend i am facilitating a sex toy workshop and i can guarantee some women will not know the location of their clits. others will tak about hating to give blow jobs (but givng them nonetheless). and others will be embarrassed to discuss sex at all.

why? many reasons. sex ed is still absent in most schools. conservative ideals dominate this country with oppressive and antiquated notions about sexuality. sex in media is glorified and romanticized. women might feel reluctant to share their stories for fear of being cast as inadequate and less than. women pass judgement and attach the slut label to any women celebrating her sexuality. our sexuality remains repressed.

and when i say sexuality, i don't mean merely the act that happens in between the sheets. i mean the wide rage of sexuality, including our ability to receive love, our love of self, our ability to choose bear children or remaining childless. others are dictating how much, what kind and with whom we have sex.

so i ask you...have we come a long way baby? someone shed some light and help me see the brighter side. please.

some things never change

2009-03-11T17:54:00.001-05:00

(disclaimer: this is heterosexually focused. i realize domestic violence happens in same sex relationships and also happens where the female is abusing the male.)

girl meets boy. boy falls in love with girl. boy kicks the shit out of girl. girl gets blamed for staying in relationship. boy gets off the hook.

i didn't think i would have the chance to comment on this story since it happened 2 weeks ago. but today i heard that tomorrow's dr. phil show is on reasons women stay with their abusive boyfriends. come on. that old question still? a woman gets beat up and she is the one who is forced to uprot her life to go stay in a shelter while the abuser's life (often) remains intact. the woman is then further victimized with questions about her absurd decision to remain in the relationship.

why are the choices women (are often forced to) make subject to public discourse?

why aren't we raising questions about the mindset of the abusers? why aren't we watching dr. phil ask the abuser why he continues to beat his girlfriend? why isn't the abuser forced to uproot his life and move into some unfamiliar place with abusers like him?

why is this still an issue? a tired old story.

now that's what i call family values

2008-10-03T18:32:00.002-05:00

MTV has done it again with a whole new take on "reality tv." sex with mom and dad is sure to shake things up a bit - perhaps even to the point of nausea. i'm not sure how i feel about this concept of parents and their children exchanging sex stories under the careful watch of beloved dr. drew. on the one hand, open lines of communication facilitate understanding of and appreciation for sexuality. parents are potentially the best educators for their children about the complex topic. children and parents talking openly about sexuality demystifies the often taboo subject and can normalize a child's experience. sex is natural. sex can be healthy. sex can be pleasurable. sex makes the world go round.

unless the sex involves your parents, right?

i mean, don't get me wrong. i love the idea that my parents have hot sex. they are youthful and attractive and should be getting it on. BUT that doesn't mean i want to talk face to face with them about their desires. and lord knows i don't want them to know what a pervert i am. (even if they are already suspicious.) and i'm grown! i can't imagine having these talks as a teenager. what teen wants to ask her mother's adivce on giving blow jobs? worse yet - what teen wants to give her mother such tips!

i can't wait to see to the show. maybe i'll even ask my parents to watch. maybe.

i used to hate barbie. now she's my hero

2008-07-26T14:01:00.002-05:00

the other day i was talking with a male, i'll call him "mike," who was outraged about the new barbie. he asked if i knew about the new doll, making her debut next month. typically conversations about barbie bore me. i could give two shits about the supposed ideal role-model for young girls, this woman who has it all. i care only because she does not represent me or many other women. if barbie were a real person, she would be 6' 0", weigh 100 lbs., and wear a size 4. Her measurements would be 39"/19"/33!"

but i was intrigued for "mike" to continue when i sensed how disgusted he was about barbie's new appearance. this ain't your mama's barbie. "black canary barbie" is based on the DC comic superhero and struts her stuff in black fishnets, patent leather stiletto boots, patent leather jacket, and bad-ass motorcycle gloves. move over angelina! while i considered this a celebration of women's sexuality, "mike" commented on the immorality and corruption of innocent girls - "fishnets," he said, "are for whores and send the wrong message to little girls." fishnets can be pretty powerful if worn on the right set of gams, i'll give him that. corrupt though, really?

women's sexuality has been demonized (think eve), pathologized (think madonna), and medicalized (think viagra for women). women are blamed for expressing our sexuality yet expected to be sexy for the male onlookers. we can encourage young girls to be mothers and housewives but frown upon any effort that encourages females to explore and express their sexuality.

i believe "mike" was possibly upset about s&m barbie because he knows that males love to ogle a fishnet-clad woman. males' sexual desires and behaviors are often encouraged or downplayed as in the "boys will be boys" mentality. i'll bet no one called the two little peeping toms in this commercial immoral or corrupt:

this double standard is as pitiful as all those laundry detergent commercials showing only women doing the work. calgon take me away.

we have to stop censoring women's sexuality when it is convenient. we can't preach against barbie wearing fishnets while condoning the swimsuit competition in the miss america pageant (or the pageant at all for that matter). or perhaps a bikini is less deviant than fishnets and patent leather. maybe black canary barbie is too kinky for a country accepting only of the sweet (read: safe) girl-next-door?

but can't we be both?

a shout out to passional's positive sex gurus

2008-07-23T23:06:00.004-05:00

i've been gone for a minute but i'm back with the jump-off.

i want to take this time to recognize the lovely and positive sex gurus at passional boutique in philly. i have lived in philly for 4 years now but only recently visited the store. i was so thrilled when i encountered such an educated, energetic and progressive staff. i want to be a part of that and encourage people to explore their sexuality and utilize that creativity that is so often ignored. passional is an inspiration and makes me proud to be not only in the sex ed industry, but to be a sexual creature as well! sex is not what we do but who we are. live it, love it, fuck it.

Check it out: Passional

i heard that too

2008-03-14T11:41:00.002-05:00

so a governor pays 3 grand to get his dick sucked and is forced to resign. meanwhile this hate-monger spouts inflammatory, nauseating jabber and remains in office?

shame shame

about to get medieval on your ass

2008-02-24T10:02:00.003-05:00

a UK official has recently proposed forced sterilization on teenage girls. Forced Sterlization

where do i begin?

1) FORCE? i think it's wrong to force a 4-year-old to eat peas let alone forcing a 14-year-old to undergo a procedure that could have lasting effects.

2) sterilization does not protect a girl (or person she is having sex with) from contracting a sexually transmitted infection or HIV. an unwanted child absolutely impacts a person's life, but i'd argue that contracting HIV is potentially more life-altering.

3) it sends the message that a teenager is not in charge of her own body - it belongs to her parents. it is important for a female to remain connected to her body so that she maintains self-worth, confidence and control.

4) why must females remain the gatekeepers of safer sex? the sterilization procedure for males is far less intrusive and, at least, places the onus on males.

5) it reinforces the idea that "sex" equals a penis entering a vagina. other sexual practices are potentially risky as well but a heterosexual teen couple might believe they are safe if the female has been sterilized.

6) although incredibly difficult and not particularly a wise choice, a teenager has the right to have a child if s/he chooses. my belief is that education and honest communication - NOT draconian methods, are the best methods for preventing unintended teen pregnancy .

7) choice choice choice. a teenager should have the right to make decisions about her own body. period.

so - what do you think??

tell me your secret...

2007-11-27T23:04:00.000-05:00

i recently read the creative and unique book called Post Secret. if you haven't checked it out, i recommend it. "PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard."

so i thought - why not ask people to anonymously submit their secrets about their sexuality! the secret can pertain to anything relating to your sexuality including confusion about sexual orientation, most embarrassing sex moment, favorite sexual position, hottest turn-ons, turn-offs, you get the point. the secret should be one that you have not revealed to anyone. it can be funny, sad, perverted, vanilla, witty, dry, whatever. just be honest, that's all i ask.

if you are up to it, all you have to do is:
1) click on "0 comments" (the 0 might show up as 1, 2, 3, etc depending on # of comments posted). it's down there in the lower right hand side of this post.
2) leave your secret anonymously

once i receive comments, i will list them on the blog for other readers to see.

oh, and one more thing. i am trying to see just how many secrets i can collect. so please, share this blog post with others!

happy writing,
e.

yo no soy senorita

2007-11-17T11:39:00.000-05:00

i was recently in colorado visiting family. i asked my parents, who speak spanish, for the male equivalent of "senorita." my dad said "there isn't one, there is only senor." i asked for an explanation and my mother said, "it's like english where there is miss, ms., and mrs." at first i thought nothing of it.

then something clicked in me. why is it that men have the luxury of always being "mr." from the time of birth till the time of death, while women's titles change depending on marital status (and sometimes age)? this doesn't seem fair.

to me, this implies that woman exists only in relation to a partner. she is defined by her marital status and values placed upon her accordingly. a woman can't just be a woman throughout her life. yet another label putting women into narrowly defined boxes.

no me gusta senor, no me gusta

holy shit (pun intended)

2007-11-13T20:09:00.001-05:00

this is NOT for children, the faint of heart, or anyone with an aversion to perversion. a friend passed along this information and i could not help but pass it along to you.

it never ceases to amaze me what the human mind is capable of. people will go to great lengths to express their sexuality. some call it "sick," some call it "disgusting," and some call it love. to each their own. but this shit ain't my cup o' tea (or anything else).

consider yourself warned: 2 girls 1 cup

boys vs. girls in the world series of cum

2007-11-07T18:09:00.000-05:00

i was talking with a 50-something-year-old female client today. we were talking about her love life (or lack thereof) and i asked if she wants to be in a relationship. she said yes and then went on to say that she has sexual needs. she said a lot of women her age claim to never think about sex. "i think they are all lying," says my client, "or brainwashed by the masses."

i explain to her that women in our country are socialized to refrain from admitting to liking sex. she said, "no, that's not it. it's about cumming."

intrigued i ask her to elaborate. she said, "guys can cum so easily. if they got a prostitute they could just have sex with her without having to see her face and cum. for women, it takes more than that to make us cum. we're more complicated."

hmmm. . . "go on," i say.

"guys are indiscriminate, they can do it with anyone. women have to discriminate more because it's harder for us to cum. if we could cum more easily, we'd probably be more indiscriminate too."

so - what do YOU think?

The great porn debate

2007-11-07T09:23:00.000-05:00

Is Pornography Really Harmful?

By Michael Bader and Vivian Dent, AlterNet. Posted November 7, 2007.

In response to Robert Jensen's controversial book, Getting Off, two clinical psychologists debate the intersection of violence and sexual fantasy.

Read all about it: Healthy or Harmful?

have a bloody good halloween

2007-10-31T14:50:00.000-05:00

my sister-in-law found this great site that shows you how to create tampon crafts. i love it!

check it out: Tampon Crafts

hello advertisers, the 1950s called, they need their commercials back

2007-10-27T08:48:00.000-05:00

i really wasn't going to touch this issue. i feel it's played out and overdone. but i couldn't resist beating that dead horse when i heard "boys. what can you say? they're just built different." BARF!

this is 2007. we have a female speaker of the house, a woman running for president, and men all over the country staying home to raise their young. so why do advertisers insist on bombarding us with these sexist ads? They brainwash young girls into thinking that doing laundry is f-u-n and "taking care of my home is a dream, dream, dream." this is not the 1950s. our dreams transcend baking muffins. the message is clear, girls are sweet and nurturing and love to rearrange that furniture. please!

meanwhile, boys are taught to be strong and brave. they learn that boys will be boys and that they are just built different. this encourages independence and creates an industrious spirit where boys are allowed to become scientists, engineers, tractor drivers. eeeh yikes - so maybe all messages aren't positive.

still. why such a strong distinction between toys made for girls and those made for boys? i know some studies show that socialization has little impact on the types of toys boys and girls select at a very young age. research tries to imply that children are too young to be influenced by tonka commercials. my concern isn't that all toys be gender neutral.

my concern is the advertisements. the commercials that overtly suggest that women are born to be in the home while boys are made for the rough and tumble real world. it is not only inaccurate but has potentially dangerous consequences. we all know what happens when date rape is excused because "boys will be boys."

all i ask is that advertisers throw us a bone. put a boy in the kitchen with suzie so they can bake together. let little mikey play trucks with heather. girls like dirt too.

and another thing. must they always be little white kids? are latinos, blacks and asians reserved for the CW network or telemundo? or do advertisers think people of color are too poor to afford toys?

give us a break ok? at least try to make your sexism (and racism) less transparent.

your ass WILL swallow it

2007-10-07T13:37:00.000-05:00

when engaging in anal play:

DO go slowly - start first with your pinky finger only.
DO use lots of lube
DO use toys with a flared base or handle

DON'T stick an entire object up yer ass. you WILL end up in the e.r.

check it out: Foreign Body In The Rectum

slut or self-aware?

2007-10-03T20:55:00.000-05:00

the other day i saw a 20-something female walking across the street. she had on the miniest-mini-skirt, patent leather high heels, and a low cut top. my first thought was "oh no she didn't!" but then i found myself questioning my knee-jerk reaction. maybe she was dressed that way because doing so made her feel confident, self-aware, in control. maybe i was perpetuating the messages of our culture at-large, the society that demonizes women who express their sexuality just a bit too much.

women are constantly objectified not only as sex objects but as oversexed objects. it is 2007 in a time when tits and ass dominate our media. but let a woman wear a mini and show off her girls and watch the derogatory statements fly. i know - i threw a few myself.

in this consumerist society, maybe sexy only looks good when it has a price tag attached. women are only sexy when they are selling something. selling beer, selling music, selling make-up. and a woman can even sell herself so long as she doesn't look too slutty doing so. women do it all the time. sell out for that illusion, that american dream, that dream job. women have been using their assets since the beginning of time. so who am i to judge that poor girl walking across the street with a skirt so short i could see she was in need of a brazillian.

shouldn't a woman be allowed to wear whatever she wants? so long as she is doing it for herself, so long as she does so with pride?

i say yes. a woman can dress as provocatively as she likes, so long as too much pink isn't showing. right? even if she is on a southwest flight. i'll take a tight tank top on some hot blonde over some fat ass balding man any day. and yes - i just objectified fat, bald men. sue me.

fucking at 50

2007-10-01T13:31:00.000-05:00

how pleased was i to turn on lynn doyle and see a show on the sex lives of women over 50. two female authors talked about the misconceptions our society has about women losing their sex drive as they age. women are not supposed to admit to liking, wanting, or craving sex. women are taught that sex is something we do to please others. the authors explained that women are sexual into their 50s and beyond. one author offered a great tip. she said if a woman has passion in her life, not related to sexuality, that passion will extend into her sex life as well. having passion in one's life is critical. a woman must have passion for self. she must seek out to participate in activities that feed her soul. she must stay true to herself as a woman first. a woman with passion in her life will have a fantasy fucking life. literally.

it gives me hope that we are beginning to see the importance sexuality plays in our lives. now if we can only stop calling women who love sex sluts, we'll be just fine.

remember the sky ride?

2007-09-15T10:47:00.000-05:00

i went to six flags last nite. i was overwhelmed with feelings of nostalgia as thoughts from adolescence flooded me. we passed the sky ride (you know those little 2-person cars that fly above the entire amusement park at a snail's pace?) and i recall being a 13-year-old little girl going to the park with my best friends. it was such an adventure to go the park. we would take such effort to make sure our hair looked great and clothes coordinated. our parents didn't know we were there to meet up with our school crushes. or maybe they did and recognized this to be an important part of self-discovery.

back to the sky ride. going on the sky ride meant one thing: make out! but not make-out as i know it today. make-out back then was often nothing more than sitting closely to that boy you drooled over during math. make-out meant sitting so closely on the sky ride that your knees would touch and waves of adrenaline would surge through your tiny body. make-out meant the courageous crush who would slide a hand over yours. almost too much to bear! and every so often, make-out did mean just that - lips on lips and even the occasional slip of the tongue.

but it was just that. THAT was the journey and destination. sex did not enter our minds nor was it the motivation to start the make-out in the first place. the make-out was, in and of itself, the objective.

i miss those days. i miss those days when holding hands meant so much. when sitting closely was all that was needed to know you were going to love that person for the rest of your life (or at least 7th grade!). there was no anxiety or wonder if the sex was good, if you were sexually appealing, if you were sexually competent. no worry if your ass jiggles too much when you're doin' it doggy. no worry if your belly hangs over when you're riding on top. no worry about grazing it with your teeth. no worry that a phonecall won't come the next day - or ever.

it was just sweet. and fun. and intense. and spine-tingling. it was lust. it was love. it was all that.

that's what the sky ride means to me.

use a separate washcloth

2007-09-09T06:12:00.000-05:00

the other day, a muslim female client was talking with me about her sex life. she is sexually active and states she is looking for a man who is sexually compatible. she said she has rarely been sexually satisfied. usually she finds men who just cut to the chase and get off (ejaculating AND getting off of her) without making sure she has orgasmed.

"i haven't really had any orgasms in my life."

i asked her if she masturbates. she said she has never been able to do that. she always thought of it as dirty or weird.

well, "do you like your body" i asked. "not really, no," she said with embarrassment. she was very insightful and assessed that avoiding masturbation and disliking her body stems from childhood. her mother made her feel ashamed of her genitals. we weren't allowed to touch or talk about "down there."

"you use a separate washcloth for down there," her mother would warn.

what a message that sends. down there is dirty. don't touch. it's contaminated.

these are powerful messages that stick with each of us as we grow up. while my own mother never explicitly told me not to touch, she didn't give me permission to touch either. she did not tell me i did not need to buy the FDS (feminine deodorant spray) while shopping together when i was a teen. she had massengil in her cabinet, i learned down there needed extra cleaning. i don't blame my mother - she was only doing what she thought to be right. but it wasn't.

i say this all the time. how often have you seen a commercial promising to rid of awful ball or dick odor? probably never, right? it seems preposterous! and really, it is. but we have become so desensitized to women's bodies being objectified, scrutinized, and criticized that we are numb when we see ads selling fresh wipes with panty liners.

it's not acceptable to tell us down there is dirty.

i want to start a campaign to boycott all "feminine hygiene" products that demean women. first stop Always. who's with me?

the never ending question

2007-08-25T23:41:00.000-05:00

i am a therapist who works with people affected by HIV/AIDS. the other day, i sat listening to a man talking about problems he is having with his boyfriend. he wrote a letter telling his boyfriend he is upset because the boyfriend is not affectionate enough, does not pay him enough attention, does not show that he loves him. he thinks his boyfriend is cheating on him. his boyfriend, at one point early in the relationship, told him he "goes both ways" and still occasionally has sex with women. my client gives his boyfriend money even though he is homeless. his boyfriend brushes him off time and time again.

i asked my client where he sees the relationship going. he said he knows one day his boyfriend will leave. he said the only way they will break up is when his boyfriend walks away.

i told him it seems like he is giving all the power to his boyfriend. he said it was important that his boyfriend be in control - that his boyfriend called the shots. i asked him why he gives all the control to his boyfriend.

his lip quivered and eyes watered. he said "i have to give him the control because he stays with me. who else would want me? i have HIV."

at that moment, i felt a connection to this client. i felt connected to all the other people who live in fear that they are not enough. i don't have HIV. but i live in fear that i won't be liked, won't be loved, won't be "enough." myself, and others, worry that someone might not want us if they only knew the real us. my client wears his HIV status like a poisonous repellent, assuming no one would want to get too close. for others of us, our poison is the thought that we are not smart enough, not pretty enough, not adventurous enough, just not enough. we all want to be loved. but this poison constricts our capacity to feel love. how many times have you told yourself "i am no good because i ______."

we have to let go of that fear. we can do this only by accepting ourselves for who we are, who we were, and who we can be. self-acceptance is the greatest gift. my client is not worried that no one will love him because he has HIV. it is he who does not love himself. we are loved if and only when we love ourselves. we can't look to others to fill the void.

tell yourself every day that you are enough.

do you know what you're putting up there?!

2007-08-21T17:52:00.001-05:00

(this information provided by Miko Learning and Resource center at www.mikoretail.com)

While playing should be good, clean fun, the fact is that there is no regulation panel determining what sex toys can be made of. The consequence? Your toy has the potential to cause serious harm!

Here's the lowdown on what you should keep in mind: if you take a toy you just purchased out of its package and it is scented or has a shower curtain smell to it, it's bad news. This smell signifies that the toy is most likely made with ingredients that many studies have shown to be cancer-causing agents.

eeeek!

What should you do if this is the case? Throw a condom over the toy each and every time you play with it and throw it out after 6 months.

For the future, ask the salesperson what type of material your soon-to-be purchased item is made of. If the box or the salesperson states any of the following materials, put your toy down and run far, far away.

- Jelly Latex - TPR (thermo plastic rubber)
- Mystery Rubber - Jelly Rubber
- Jelly Vinyl - PVC
- Silicone Blends - Latex

If you want to buy a toy that you are sure is safe for your precious bod, here is a list of key phrases you want either the package or the sales person to say:

- 100% Silicone - Elastomer
- Elastomed - Pyrex
- Stainless Steel - Hard Plastic
- Stone

Silicone and Elastomer are softer materials, which feel more "life-like." Silicone is non-porous and can be sterilized either by boiling or by a bleach or alcohol solution. Elastomer is porous and cannot be sterilized, but can be thoroughly cleaned using antibacterial soap and hot water and an antibacterial toy spray. Elastomer toys are vag-only toys, and should be one-person toys.

Stone, Pyrex, Hard Plastic, Stainless Steel and Elastomed are all firm materials. This means that they are great for G-Spot or P-Spot stimulation too! Pyrex and Stainless Steel can be sterilized.

What if the salesperson doesn't know what the toy is made of? That's a warning sign for you to pay attention to. If the person who is selling you the item isn't schooled on different materials, they they probably aren't going to know the good from the bad.

While sex toys are nice and pleasure is good for you, be a good consumer and know what you are playing with!

dude, i'm not your sweetheart

2007-08-02T22:13:00.000-05:00

to guys everywhere who have no idea:

i love being a woman. except for when i don't. what compels a guy to think he can say "hey sweetheart" to me? what makes him think he can tell me "smile" as i walk by? who gave him permission to gawk? whistle? suck his teeth to get my attention? touch my arm to look at my tattoo.

what makes him think he is good enough to walk on the same sidewalk as me? breathe the same air i breath? let alone talk to me with that ugly ass mug?

i was not put here to amuse you. i was not put here as your eye candy.

i am not your sweetheart.

and if you call me that again, i'm gonna slap the shit outta you.

who says girls aren't down for a ONE NIGHT STAND

2007-07-21T08:02:00.000-05:00

last saw i saw some hot girl on girl action. no, it wasn't while watching Age of Love. it was beautifully erotic porn. at the philadelphia gay and lesbian film fest, One Night Stand was shown to a theater of 200 perverts. and it was smokin'!
the flick is in french, which for some odd reason elevates its erotic potential from jump. these hot french lovelies answer questions about their involvement in the film. it let's you anticipate what's to come. and imagine what the hotsa-rosas will look like naked. fucking.

the girls talk about the importance of being in a film that shows how lesbians really have sex. none of this soft, velvet, nipple kissing bore fest. real. hot. hard. sweaty. dirty. pretty. fucking. i couldn't wait.

there were 5 scenes in all (i think. i sorta lost count being the swirly mess that i was.) and they were all, to some degree or other, HOT.

they show fisting. fisting! i thought that sort of thing was illegal to show on the big screen. but these frenchies get away with it. over and over again.
the first scene had a mysterious flare. two hot girls. naked. both put on one black latex glove. that upped the intensity right there. add lube. shiny black glove on naked skin is eye candy to eat for days. and then they go at it. you can hear nothing but the trance like beat playing throughout the scene. the music ends. fisting in full effect. and the moans. groans, sloshy wetness and more groans. i think fucking sounds make up at least half of porn's hot factor.

but these sounds weren't fabricated. they weren't enhanced for the hetersexual male viewer's pleasure. they were genuine. and they were intense.

the other scenes were tingle-producing as well. especially the last one.

my only regret is that i watched this with an entire theater of people. some people have no appreciation for naked girls fucking. people were laughing throughout. obviously people felt nervous and masked that through laughter. don't go to a porn if you can't be a big girl, sweets. watch the porn and wiggle in your seat like the rest of us. one person behind me was actually emitting some awful hot trash burps. way to ruin the fucking, you bitch.

so i figure i will just have to buy the porn. which played more like moving art than cheesy girl-on-girl sex. i want to watch it in the comforts of my own home. and hit pause and rewind. like any pervert should enjoy her porn!

HUMPERDINCK!

2007-07-18T21:01:00.000-05:00

my niece is a humperdinck. much like the despised character in princess bride - this humperdinck is cause of great anxiety and fear. her crime? masturbation. it's true. well over a year ago - my sister called me in a state of panic. "your niece has started humping her blanket!" my sister, steeped in sexuality ed, calmly explained to her then 2-year-old daughter that her behavior was something to be done "in private." yet my niece continued to grind on her blanket like it was her job and she was gettin' paid overtime. my sister did not scold my niece nor let her know how uneasy the whole event made her. (my sister is not a drinker so i'm not exactly sure how she managed to calm her nerves.) instead she named the act "humperdinck" and reminded my niece to do that in her bedroom. now my niece asks for it by name. when my sister tells her it's time for nap, she says, "well can i humperdinck?" that's my girl.

enter me - this sexually progressive, educated, advocate of all sexy things safe and fun. now i'm all for the healthy sexual development of children. but i have to admit, i felt a little on edge when it was my turn to witness that little butt movin' up and down playin' hide the blankie. she was really gettin' into it! man! all these thoughts flashed through my mind. like - did i do that when i was her age? what a little pro! you do you, girl! please stop! i can only imagine what some parents might think when they first realize their little innocents are humping fools.

even though i felt uncomfortable at times, and even though parents likely feel like their child is headed for a life of lascivious doom, we have to remember that touching ourselves feels good. touching ourselves is healthy. touching ourselves makes us better people. masturbation not only helps us relieve stress so we don't go postal on someone. it also helps us learn what makes us tick. meeoww - that feels good, right there.

why would anyone want to deprive a kid of that?! let's hope all kids have the chance to be little humperdincks.

it's sad because it's true

2007-06-20T22:19:00.000-05:00

i could not resist. this is the funniest spoof i have seen since the 80s.

Take the IRON HYMEN Abstinence-Only Pledge

I, [MY NAME], hereby pledge:

1. To never let grubby boys touch me – unless it's just fun innocent stuff like tripping me and pulling my hair. (But only the hair on my head!)

2. To never wear trampy stuff like shorts or t-shirts or open-toed shoes, which basically tell horny perverts that I'm a major tramp who's just asking for it.

3. To never do rough stuff like ride horsies or bikes with hard seats, which could break my vagina's freshness seal and make me totally unlovable.

4. To never let tampons violate the sanctity of my hoo-hoo, because tampons are really nothing more than thirsty little albino penises.

5. To never have premarital sex, because Jesus doesn't want anyone messing around inside my girly hole until after His church makes some money off a wedding.

check it out at http://www.ironhymen.com/

women will rule the world when girls swallow this instead of diet pills

2007-06-15T09:09:00.000-05:00

Ego Tripping (there may be a reason why)
- nikki giovanni

I was born in the congo
I walked to the fertile crescent and built
the sphinx
I designed a pyramid so tough that a star
that only glows every one hundred years falls
into the center giving divine perfect light
I am bad

I sat on the throne
drinking nectar with allah
I got hot and sent an ice age to europe
to cool my thirst
My oldest daughter is nefertiti
the tears from my birth pains
created the nile
I am a beautiful woman

I gazed on the forest and burned
out the sahara desert
with a packet of goat's meat
and a change of clothes
I crossed it in two hours
I am a gazelle so swift
so swift you can't catch me

For a birthday present when he was three
I gave my son hannibal an elephant
He gave me rome for mother's day
My strength flows ever on

My son noah built new/ark and
I stood proudly at the helm
as we sailed on a soft summer day
I turned myself into myself and was
jesus
men intone my loving name
All praises All praises
I am the one who would save

I sowed diamonds in my back yard
My bowels deliver uranium
the filings from my fingernails are
semi-precious jewels
On a trip north
I caught a cold and blew
My nose giving oil to the arab world
I am so hip even my errors are correct
I sailed west to reach east and had to round off
the earth as I went
The hair from my head thinned and gold was laid
across three continents

I am so perfect so divine so ethereal so surreal
I cannot be comprehended except by my permission

I mean...I...can fly
like a bird in the sky...

cougars vs. kittens: exploitation OR celebration??

2007-06-14T07:10:00.000-05:00

on monday, june 18th, nbc will unveil its latest reality tv show "Age of Love". the premise is that a hunky 30-year-old bachelor will make out with a bunch of 40-somethings and fall madly for their wisdom and sexual sophistication. ohhhh - but then the young hotsies tramp along and try to tempt the young buck away from the saggy baggies. who will he choose? a young kitten or a hot cougar? meooow.

my question is this: is this show a sick form of pitting women against one another? is this another attempt to objectify women and magnify our nation's obsession with youth? my initial reaction was that of disgust. first of all - 40 isn't exactly OLD by any standard. (maybe because i'm closing in on that decade my damn self.) but i was more offended when i heard the announcer claim the bachelor would first meet the cougars. he would be seduced by that charm only an older woman has the confidence to possess. enter the REAL temptation - the 20-something kittens. what?! so 40-somethings are safe while the 20-somethings are the true blue-ribbon babes? not so much. AND they make it seem like reaching 40 is such an accomplishment. 90-year-olds working some sexy magic - now THAT's a feat.
but i digress.

so part of my wants to boycott the show. i'm tired of seeing women embarrass themselves by acting like silly little birds pecking each other to death over a measly pretzel crumb.

but part of me has no choice but to watch it. some of the contestants are real real hot. i'm sorry! i'm only human. and i succumb to eye-candy just like the rest of ya'll. i want to watch the beauties get smashed 'cause girl-on-girl action is close by. i have yet to see a show that does not show drunk girls making out on the dance floor. right before one holds the other's hair back so she can puke with dignity. it's horrible that i am drawn to such images, i know. but watching straight girls lose their inhibitions just really floats my boat.

and i want to see the older women kick those kittens' asses. the show can potentially highlight the sex appeal of women of all ages. the cougars have confidence and confidence makes for sexy women.

so wrong and disgusting as it might be - you can find me glued to the set come monday night. i will curse the patriarchal overtones and objectification of women. and i will cheer on the hot cougars with all their sophisticated sexiness.

my SHEro

2007-06-08T08:02:00.001-05:00

i was blown away. and totally geeked out when i saw joycelyn walk into the hotel. why was she walking alone? shouldn't she have an entourage? doesn't she know who she is?

i went up to her and said (in total geek fashion), are you joycelyn elders? lord. she said yes. my eyes lit up and i mustered the phrase "hold on, i have something for you." so i ran over to my bag and pulled out my little gift. a gift i created just for her.

you see, i created Masturbation FUNdies with pro-female, pro-masturbation messages on them. (that will be my next post, no worries.) i made joycelyn her very own pair. on them, a picture of her with the phrase "give a hand to joycelyn." i hope she loves them and didn't think i'm some crazy perv. wait, i proudly claim that title. well - i hope she thought they were neat.

when i handed her the FUNdies, i told her what an inspiration she is to me. i told her she influenced my decision to go into this field. i told her thank you.

and then i heard her speak. goosebumps i tell you. here was this woman. this strong, older, conservatively dressed doctor preaching from her pulpit about sex. she begged us to celebrate the notion that sex isn't just about making babies - it's about PLEASURE, people! she reminded us that she was FIRED by a president who got his dick sucked in the oval office! she challenged us to push forward the mission of teaching children about masturbation. "you know you're doing it with someone you love," she exclaimed about this still-taboo practice.

so let's give a hand to joycelyn. let's spread the word about the bennies of masturbation. boys do it. girls do it. babies do it. doctors, like joycelyn elders, do it! you can do it too.

The Christian Right's Fear of Pleasure

2007-05-19T13:14:00.001-05:00

The Christian Right's Fear of Pleasure is Our Greatest Threat to Choice
By Chris Hedges, Truthdig
Posted on May 19, 2007, Printed on May 19, 2007
http://www.alternet.org/story/51674/

Jeniece Learned stood amid a crowd of earnest-looking men and women, many with small gold crosses in their lapels or around their necks, in a hotel lobby in Valley Forge, Pa. She had an easy smile and a thick mane of black, shoulder-length hair. She was carrying a booklet called "Ringing In a Culture of Life," which was the schedule of the two-day event she was attending, organized by the Pennsylvania Pro-Life Federation.

The event was "dedicated to the 46 million children who have died from legal abortions since 1973 and the mothers and fathers who mourn their loss."

Learned, who had driven five hours from a town outside Youngstown, Ohio, was raised Jewish. She wore a gold Star of David around her neck with a Christian cross inset in the middle of the design. She stood up in one of the morning sessions, attended by about 300 people, most of them women.

The speaker, Alveda King, niece of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., had asked if there were any "post-abortive" women present. The most fervent activists in the pro-life movement have usually had abortions, with large numbers admitting to multiple abortions.

Learned runs a small pregnancy counseling clinic called Pregnancy Services of Western Pennsylvania, in Sharon, where she tries to talk young girls and women, most of them poor, out of having abortions. She speaks in local public schools, promoting sexual abstinence as the only acceptable form of contraception. And she has found in the fight against abortion, and in her conversion, a structure, purpose and meaning that previously eluded her.

The relentless drive against abortion by the Christian right -- the first salvo having been fired with the 5-to-4 Supreme Court decision last month to uphold the federal ban on the procedure known as "partial birth abortion" -- has nothing to do with the protection of life. It is, rather, a cover for a wider and more pernicious assault against the ability of women to control their own bodies, the use of contraception and sexual pleasure.

The movement openly conflates contraceptives with devices or substances that cause abortion. It holds up as heroes of "conscience" those pharmacists who refuse to sell contraceptives. It works to block over-the-counter sales of Plan B emergency contraceptive pills. It peddles, with hundreds of millions in tax dollars handed to the movement by the Bush administration, abstinence-only sex-ed curricula and opposes a vaccine against the HPV virus, the major cause of cervical cancer, claiming it would promote promiscuity.

The denial of contraception, as is well documented, increases the number of unwanted pregnancies and abortions. And abortion is never going to go away. If it again becomes illegal, the rich, as in the past, will find ways to provide abortions for their wives, mistresses and girlfriends, and the poor will die in unhygienic back rooms.

But since this is a war with a wider agenda, abortion statistics and facts do not count. The Christian right fears pleasure, especially sexual pleasure, which it sees as degrading, corrupting and tainted. For many, their own experiences with sex -- coupled with their descent into addictions and often sexual and domestic abuse before they found Christ -- have led them to build a movement that creates an external rigidity to cope with the chaos of human existence, a chaos that overwhelmed them. They do not trust their own urges, their capacity for self-restraint or judgment. The Christian right permits its followers to project evil outward, a convenient escape for people unable to face the darkness and the psychological torments within them.

The leaders of this movement understand that the only emotion that cannot be subsumed into communal life, which they seek to dominate and control, is love. They fear the power of love, especially when magnified and expressed through tender, sexual relationships, which remove couples from their control. Sex, when not a utilitarian form of procreation, is dangerous.

They seek to fashion a world where good and evil are clearly defined and upheld by the nation's judicial system. The battle against abortion is a battle to build a society where pleasure and freedom, where the capacity of the individual and especially women to make choices, and indeed even love itself, are banished. And this is why pro-life groups oppose contraception -- even for those who are married. The fight against abortion is the facade for a wider fight against the right of an individual in a democracy.

Army of God, a pro-life organization that holds up as Christian "heroes" those who murder abortion providers, defines birth control as another form of abortion, as do many other pro-life groups. In the "Birth Control Is Evil" section of their website it reads: "Birth control is evil and a sin. Birth control is anti-baby and anti-child. ...Why would you stop your own child from being conceived or born? What kind of human being are you?"

Learned's life, before she was saved, was typically chaotic and painful. Her childhood was stolen from her. She was sexually abused by a close family member. Her mother periodically woke Learned and her younger sister and two younger brothers in the middle of the night to flee landlords who wanted back rent. The children were bundled into the car and driven in darkness to a strange apartment in another town. Her mother worked nights and weekends as a bartender. Learned, the oldest, often had to run the home. She got pregnant in high school and had an abortion.

"There was a lot of fighting," she said. "I remember my dad hitting my mom one time and him going to jail. I don't have a lot of memories, mind you, before eighth grade because of the sexual abuse. When he divorced my mom, he divorced us, too."

"My grandfather committed suicide, my mom and my dad both tried suicide, my brothers tried suicide," she said. "In my family, there was no hope. The only way to solve problems when they got bad was to end your life."

She eventually married, had a born-again experience and began taking classes at Pacific Christian College in Orange County in California. During a chapel service an anti-abortion group, Living Alternative, showed a film called "The Silent Scream."

"You see in this movie this baby backing up trying to get away from this suction tube," she said. "And, its mouth is open and it is like this baby is screaming. I flipped out. It was at that moment that God just took this veil that I had over my eyes for the last eight years. I couldn't breathe. I was hyperventilating. I ran outside. One of the girls followed me from Living Alternative. And she said, 'Did you commit your life to Christ?' And I said, 'I did.' And she said, 'Did you ask for your forgiveness of sins?' And I said, 'I did.' And she goes, 'Does that mean all your sins, or does that mean some of them?' And I said, 'I guess it means all of them.' So she said, 'Basically, you are thinking God hasn't forgiven you for your abortion because that is a worse sin than any of your other sins that you have done.' "

The film ushered her into the fight to make abortion illegal. Her activism, like that of many women in the movement, became atonement for her own abortion.

She struggled with severe depression after she gave birth to her daughter Rachel. When she came home from the hospital she was unable to care for her infant. She thought she saw an 8-year-old boy standing next to her bed. It was, she is sure, the image of the son she had "murdered."

"I started crying and asking God over and over again to forgive me," she remembered. "I had murdered his child. I asked him to forgive me over and over again. It was just incredible. I was possessed. On the fourth day I remember hearing God's voice. 'I have your baby, now get up!' It was the most incredibly freeing and peaceful moment. I got up and I showered and I ate. I just knew it was God's voice."

The fight against abortion is a battle against a culture she and those in the movement despise. It is a culture they believe betrayed them. The rigidity of the new belief system, the sanctification of hatred toward those who would "murder" the unborn or contaminate America with the godless creed of "secular humanism," fosters feelings of righteousness and virtue. But it also means destroying all competing communities. The sense of entitlement and inclusiveness, brought on by the certitude of belief, is matched by the power of destructive fury.

Learned lives in the nation's Rust Belt. The flight of manufacturing jobs has turned most of the old steel mill towns around her into wastelands of poverty and urban decay. The days when steel workers could make middle-class salaries are a distant and cherished memory. She lives amid America's vast and growing class of dispossessed, those tens of millions of working poor, 30 million of whom make less than $8.70 an hour, the official poverty level for a family of four.

Most economists contend that it takes at least twice this amount to provide basic necessities to a family of four. These low-wage jobs, which come without benefits or job security, have meant billions in profits for corporations that no longer feel the pressure or the need to take care of their workers. But this new American landscape has also bred a profound despair and hopelessness, as well as physical destruction of community that fuels the Christian right.

The war to "protect life," to crush "the culture of death," is a war against the open society. It is a war to push back the gains in women's rights, in personal choice, in the power of the individual to form his or her own life. It is a war that seeks to refashion America into a place where external forms of repression, imposed by the government, are used in a bid to contain the brokenness, desperation and emotional turmoil of those Americans whom we, as a society, betrayed.

It is, in short, a war of revenge. And until we re-enfranchise these Americans into society, until we give them hope and alleviate the economic and social blights that have plunged them into the arms of demagogues and charlatans who promise a mythical, unachievable Christian paradise and utopia, we will have to face a growing assault on our personal liberties and freedoms.

Risky Chicks are Hot

2007-05-04T07:54:00.000-05:00

May is Masturbation Month! Be a risky girl and stroke away!

Veils, Virginity and Victimization

2007-05-03T06:37:00.000-05:00

Posted on Alternet.org. From Vanessa at Feministing:

Reuters reports that Muslim women in France are beginning to have vaginal reconstructive surgery to reattach their hymen so that when they get married, their past sexual experiences will remain private.

While this is obviously upsetting, I fear the trend will be used as a means to push the xenophobic agenda that has been, to a large extent, controlling Muslim women's lives in Europe for quite some time now. Called now by some "the two 'V's' -- veils and virginity," I wouldn't be surprised if there is a proposed ban for the procedure. (They already banned headscarves from schools in 2004.) But what would that actually do? A serious backlash could occur for women who would be seeking the surgery; it could very well just oppress them more.

Am I saying hymenoplasty is a good thing for Muslim women? Not at all, but to prohibit women from doing something personal with their bodies to avoid potential shame due to their religion while women in our own Western culture willingly have been seeking hymenoplasties because "it's so hot" and want "designer vaginas" would just further exemplify how Muslim women are consistently victimized by Western cultures for entirely different purposes than "liberating them."

But who knows, maybe France won't be willing to give up their own designer vaginas.

Enuff Said

2007-04-30T21:41:00.000-05:00

Toys for tots?

2007-04-29T06:58:00.000-05:00

this IKEA commercial never aired as it was pulled for being "obscene." while i shudder at the thought of my nieces or nephew finding my buzzy delights, the commercial itself was humorous and innocent.

why can we show dismembered bodies and gun violence but panic at the mere thought of sexual activity - solo or otherwise? if media depicted pleasures derived from magic bullets as much as they do pain inflicted by hollow point bullets, this would be a shiny, happier place.

Masturbate don't Annihilate

2007-04-28T21:43:00.000-05:00

This is a great site dedicated to spreading the message of peace, one flick of the clit at a time.

Enjoy!
http://www.masturbateforpeace.com/

I heart my Moon Cup

2007-04-28T09:58:00.000-05:00

several years ago, i attended a conference and saw alternative menstrual products advertised. i was appalled at the thought of coming in contact with my period! why would anyone want to go near that smelly, dirty fluid?

fast forward to 2005 when my girlfriend re-introduced me to the Keeper. she said it was an amazing and affordable alternative to tampons and pads. she said it was simple to use and much safer than using tampons.

tampons contain two things that are potentially harmful: rayon (for absorbency) and dioxin (a chemical used in bleaching the products). Read more here

tampons are also BIG business. i just cannot support any product that perpetuates the dangerous myth that periods are shameful, dirty and embarrassing. they spend millions of dollars telling women that our genitals are dirty. one pantyliner brand even includes a "clean" wipe.

we are shedding blood not planting daisies - it ain't supposed to smell so fresh and so clean, clean!

i first purchased the original keeper which is made from latex. it took some getting used to. i wasn't sure i was inserting it correctly. it would leak a bit here and there during the first few uses. but it does not leak anymore than a tampon does and nothing that a little pantyliner can't remedy.

after several months of successful use, i noticed my skin began to get irritated each month. it seems i developed a latex allergy. so imagine my relief when i discovered the keeper newly offered a silicone version, called the Moon Cup. this is made from medical grade silicone and approved by the FDA.

the Moon Cup and Keeper are a healthy, safe option for the menstruating woman. don't let money-grubbing marketers fool you into thinking your period is dirty and disgusting. menstruation is part of being a woman. be smart about what your put in your body. and save some cash while you're at it!

To learn more or buy a Moon Cup or The Keeper, go to http://www.keeper.com/

Abstinence Only Not Effective in Killing Teen Lust!

2007-04-24T05:46:00.000-05:00

Report Underscores Need for Comprehensive Sex Ed
By Deb Price, Creators Syndicate
Posted on April 23, 2007, Printed on April 24, 2007
http://www.alternet.org/story/50957/

True or False?

Adolescents who've participated in school programs advocating sexual abstinence until marriage -- and teaching nothing about ways for sexually active people to avoid AIDS and unwanted pregnancies -- are less likely to have sex than other teenagers.

Well, after paying a whopping $1.5 billion for "abstinence only" programs, we taxpayers finally have a conclusive answer: False.

A congressionally mandated study that tracked 2,057 kids for several years -- until, on average, they were almost 17 years old -- found that most (51 percent) started having sex, regardless of whether they'd been taught "abstinence only."

"Youth in the (abstinence) program group were no more likely than control group youth to have abstained from sex and, among those who reported having had sex, they had similar numbers of sexual partners," concludes the new report by Mathematica Policy Research Inc. (Find it by Googling "Impacts of Four Abstinence Education Programs.")

Just 49 percent of each teen group remained abstinent. Of those having sex, equal numbers always used a condom (just 23 percent). And the sexually active in both groups, on average, first had intercourse at 14.9 years old.

What else is true? Sexually active teens aren't doing nearly enough to protect themselves. Each year, one-quarter of them contracts a sexually transmitted disease. And about 800,000 teenage girls a year get pregnant.

What's also true is that although some adults like to believe in the no-sex-before-marriage fairy tale, the reality is that 95 percent of Americans eventually have unmarried sex, according to the Guttmacher Institute, which studies sexuality.

So, we adults are miserably failing our nation's children by allowing Uncle Sam to tell states that it won't help pay for sex education other than "abstinence only" courses that either don't mention condoms and other ways to make sex safer or mention them only to stress failure rates.

As U.S. Rep. Barbara Lee, a California Democrat, says, "We need to get real about sex education." She advocates a common-sense approach: Federal support for comprehensive, potentially lifesaving sex ed -- what she calls "abstinence plus."

She's introduced the Responsible Education About Life Act, which would give states money to educate kids about pregnancy prevention and avoiding sexually transmitted diseases, not merely about just saying no to sex. Sen. Frank Lautenberg, D-N.J., has introduced the companion bill.

Lee points out, "We should absolutely be teaching young people about abstinence, but we shouldn't be holding back information that can save lives and prevent unwanted pregnancies."

Children tend to hit puberty around 13. By 15, most are having sex. So, we need to arm them early with accurate information.

Adults often think kids know everything about sex. It's not true. Mathematic found 28 percent in "abstinence only" programs either think birth control pills can at least sometimes prevent HIV or aren't sure. (They can't.) And 35 percent didn't know that condoms can prevent HIV.

Every year, nearly 20,000 young Americans, ages 13 to 24, contract HIV. A heartbreaking 73 percent are African-American.

In getting real about sex, the federal government should push states to recognize the needs of gay youth, who tragically are usually left out. The American Journal of Public Health reported in 2001 that gay adolescents take fewer risks if they receive "gay-sensitive" instruction about HIV.

It's time to scrap wasteful, ineffective abstinence-only programs. Let's replace them with comprehensive sex education that benefits all kids.

Deb Price of The Detroit News writes the first nationally syndicated column on gay issues.

Space Exploration Never Looked so Good

2007-04-24T05:16:00.000-05:00

This is hands down one of the best toys out there. Simple, sleek, easy to use and sure to give you an out-of-this-world O.

Click on one of 5 numbers for different kinds of vibes. You can pick your favorite combo like 2, 4, then back to 3. OR you can stick with good ol' reliable #5 for that steady, jackhammer sensation.

My only frustration with this shiny delight is the packaging. Just who tha hell are they marketing to? Mostly, MOSTLY, women will be using this toy, right? So why the wannabe porn star on the cover? Do they think women want to channel this busty, fishnet princess during space exploration? Do you think women want to BE her? DO her? Really, the girl looks like she hasn't seen a good time in ages. What, with that nicely coiffed hair and stern gaze.

I want to tell those little men in marketing to do away with the T&A on the packaging. Really, it's what's inside that counts.

Want to buy one? Let me know.

Vacation Spot!

2007-04-20T07:50:00.000-05:00

http://www.viewlondon.co.uk/sex-academy-london-tickets_index.html

A £7m SEX THEME PARK, which has no rides, is to open in London's West
End later this year.

Visitors to Amora - The Academy of Sex and Relationships at the
Trocadero in Piccadilly, will pass through seven zones including
Pleasure and Orgasm.

The 10,500sq-ft exhibit is designed to "separate fact from myth and
educate everyone into being better lovers".

You have to be aged 18 and over to get in and tickets will cost £15
for the attraction which opens on 7 September.

Organisers expect to attract more than 600,000 visitors within the
first year.

The more sex we have the more we want and the less sex we have the
more we want
Academy director Dr Sarah Brewer

The theme park will include life-sized silicone-made models which
visitors can touch to discover erogenous zones.

People will also be able to build their ideal partner from a series of
body parts and there will be instructions on how best to kiss and how
to talk more sexily.

The seven zones will start with attraction, love and relationships and
include a sexual well-being zone which looks at the dangers of unsafe sex.

The academy's director of exhibits Dr Sarah Brewer said: "The more sex
we have the more we want and the less sex we have the more we want.

"This academy does push boundaries back and whatever your prowess when
you come in we will give you all the information you need to become a
fantastic lover."

Story from BBC NEWS:

Masturbation is NOT a dirty word

2007-04-19T07:40:00.000-05:00

Ginsberg Stands for Us All

2007-04-19T07:34:00.000-05:00

“Some of us as individuals find abortion offensive to our most basic principles of morality, but that cannot control our decision. Our obligation is to define the liberty of all, not to mandate our own moral code.”

The Supreme Court's decision is not a strike against the pro-choice movement, it is not a strike against child-bearing women. It is a strike against humanity. The struggle to defend reproductive rights is a human rights issue. It's about being just, not being right.

One giant leap (backwards) for us all.

http://www.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/05-380.ZD.html

Let's Talk about Sex conference!

2007-04-15T09:22:00.000-05:00

i am beside myself. i will be conducting a workshop called "The Ins and Outs of Masturbation in Girlhood" at the upcoming SisterSong Conference in Chicago!

tell everyone you know to come on over.

Click here to find out more

You GO Soulforce!

2007-04-13T07:32:00.000-05:00

http://www.soulforce.org/index.php

Wherever you are on your journey of faith,
Whatever your sexual orientation or gender identity,
Whatever your religion, race, age, ability, color, or creed,
You are welcome to join us in learning, teaching, and applying
the 'soul force' principles of relentless nonviolent resistance
as taught by Gandhi and King
as we work together to stop spiritual violence
against Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender people
that flows out of the teachings and actions
of religious leaders and their communities of faith.
-The People of Soulforce

Woman Power

2007-04-11T13:02:00.000-05:00

If I see one more magazine article telling women 100 new ways to please your man I might just barf. “Elicia, consider the source,” as I flip through the latest issue of Cosmo. The magazine is deigned for the everyday, average, heterosexual (thin, rich, white) woman. Of course the messages are going to feed into that world.
But – does it have to be SO MUCH? Does heterosexism, consumerism, male-centered sexuality need to be everywhere I look?! I turn on the television and see ads telling women we are getting old and better put ice packs on our face lest we lose our sex appeal. I flip through magazines and read articles teaching women how to spice up their sex life with their men. What?!?! Since when is it that women need any help in that department? Have we not been giving men orgasms 100% of the time??! Meanwhile women are still wondering if we are orgasmic. And we need the tips on pleasing men?!
And another thing. Males and females do not have different brains! Quit trying to brainwash everyone into thinking that women are emotional and men are logical. Do not encourage women to “be less emotional” and “use shorter sentences” if we want to get our man’s attention. This is not the stone age. Women and men have been effectively communicating as people for years. What keeps women and men from communicating more successfully is all the B.S. about us not being able to communicate because we are on different planets. It’s Earth, people. And it’s not that hard.
Women don’t need new tricks in the bedroom. We need to tell ourselves we are hot, sexy, smart and worthy on a daily basis. We don’t need ice in the bedroom – we need to tell our partners (not just males) how to please us. That being said, we need to know what pleases us! We need to spend less time worrying about how to please a man and many, many, many more hours of self-exploration learning what pleases us. We need to stop worrying that we cannot achieve a G-spot orgasm. We need to stop comparing ourselves to every other woman on this earth who appears to have it better than we do. Lindsey Lohan is probably not having orgasms either! And she seems to be doing just fine! We need to use our brains and not digest all the chocolate being forced down our throat with books about women with low libidos. We are horny too!
I long for the day when a woman will know what she wants. Is confident enough to ask for it. Smart enough to teach someone. Sexy enough to display her back fat, hairy legs, crows’ feet proudly. I am woman, dammit. Hear me rrrrroar!

Former Christian Right Homophobe Sees the Error of His Ways

2007-03-30T06:56:00.000-05:00

The times they are a changin'??

http://www.alternet.org/sex/49912/

"Unhooked"

2007-03-25T13:08:00.000-05:00

Hookin' up? New trend among young women? Or a cop out?

read here to learn more:
http://www.alternet.org/story/49694

My Vagina has a First Name: It's P-U-S-S-Y

2007-03-22T05:41:00.000-05:00

thought you knew all the different ways to talk about your parts? i'll bet you learn a whole lot (no pun intended) more:

http://www.starma.com/penis/muffy/muffy.html

my first time

2007-03-19T21:33:00.000-05:00

this is my first time, be gentle with me.

i figured if everyone else is doing it - what's stopping me?

my logic, at least at this point, is to create a space where i can share my thoughts, life lessons, ideas, suggestions, blah blah blah blah about any and everything relating to sexuality.

being my cheesy self, i decided to have a play on words. hence the title of this blog SHE talk. as in sheet talk. ha ha. get it?