i used to hate barbie. now she's my hero

the other day i was talking with a male, i'll call him "mike," who was outraged about the new barbie. he asked if i knew about the new doll, making her debut next month. typically conversations about barbie bore me. i could give two shits about the supposed ideal role-model for young girls, this woman who has it all. i care only because she does not represent me or many other women. if barbie were a real person, she would be 6' 0", weigh 100 lbs., and wear a size 4. Her measurements would be 39"/19"/33!"

but i was intrigued for "mike" to continue when i sensed how disgusted he was about barbie's new appearance. this ain't your mama's barbie. "black canary barbie" is based on the DC comic superhero and struts her stuff in black fishnets, patent leather stiletto boots, patent leather jacket, and bad-ass motorcycle gloves. move over angelina! while i considered this a celebration of women's sexuality, "mike" commented on the immorality and corruption of innocent girls - "fishnets," he said, "are for whores and send the wrong message to little girls." fishnets can be pretty powerful if worn on the right set of gams, i'll give him that. corrupt though, really?

women's sexuality has been demonized (think eve), pathologized (think madonna), and medicalized (think viagra for women). women are blamed for expressing our sexuality yet expected to be sexy for the male onlookers. we can encourage young girls to be mothers and housewives but frown upon any effort that encourages females to explore and express their sexuality.

i believe "mike" was possibly upset about s&m barbie because he knows that males love to ogle a fishnet-clad woman. males' sexual desires and behaviors are often encouraged or downplayed as in the "boys will be boys" mentality. i'll bet no one called the two little peeping toms in this commercial immoral or corrupt:

this double standard is as pitiful as all those laundry detergent commercials showing only women doing the work. calgon take me away.

we have to stop censoring women's sexuality when it is convenient. we can't preach against barbie wearing fishnets while condoning the swimsuit competition in the miss america pageant (or the pageant at all for that matter). or perhaps a bikini is less deviant than fishnets and patent leather. maybe black canary barbie is too kinky for a country accepting only of the sweet (read: safe) girl-next-door?

but can't we be both?

a shout out to passional's positive sex gurus

i've been gone for a minute but i'm back with the jump-off.

i want to take this time to recognize the lovely and positive sex gurus at passional boutique in philly. i have lived in philly for 4 years now but only recently visited the store. i was so thrilled when i encountered such an educated, energetic and progressive staff. i want to be a part of that and encourage people to explore their sexuality and utilize that creativity that is so often ignored. passional is an inspiration and makes me proud to be not only in the sex ed industry, but to be a sexual creature as well! sex is not what we do but who we are. live it, love it, fuck it.

Check it out: Passional