wishing you a happy new year with a fabulous website!

The Beautiful Cervix Project. Check it out ya'll....literally!

The Ins & Outs of Female Masturbation workshop

hey hey, the first workshop in may was postponed. so for those who couldn't make it - now's your chance! come on down. the only thing you have to lose is your inhibitions!

WHAT: The Ins & Outs of Female Masturbation

WHEN: Friday August 7
7pm

WHERE: Aphrodite Gallery at Passional Toys
620 South 5th Street,Philadelphia, PA 19147


This interactive workshop will explore the historical and societal influences on female masturbation. We will examine implicit and explicit messages we have received about masturbation and consider our values about this form of sexual expression. Participants will learn several tips for enhancing their masturbation experience.

Space is limited!! Register by calling (215) 829-4986 or click here to register!

The Ins & Outs of Female Masturbation workshop - postponed

POSTPONED...

WHAT: The Ins & Outs of Female Masturbation

WHERE: Aphrodite Gallery at Passional Toys
620 South 5th Street,Philadelphia, PA 19147


This interactive workshop will explore the historical and societal influences on female masturbation. We will examine implicit and explicit messages we have received about masturbation and consider our values about this form of sexual expression. Participants will learn several tips for enhancing their masturbation experience.

Participants will also find out how to participate in Philly's first Masturbate-a-Thon!

Register by calling (215) 829-4986 or click here to register

Help Me Win the Masturbate-A-Thon!

In case you haven't heard the good news, May is National Masturbation Month. To help raise money for Mazzoni Center's Women's Health Initiative, I am participating in Philadelphia's first Masturbate-A-Thon!

Why? Masturbation remains taboo and has been stigmatized throughout history. The very mention of it as healthy and normal resulted in the firing of U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders. Yet masturbation is an effective way to express one's sexuality, free from risk of pregnancy or STDs.

Help celebrate this holiday by pledging your support for my participation in the Masturbate-A-Thon. Contest ends May 16th so I need to receive all pledges before then. (If you would rather be a participant, please email me at eliciacrystal@gmail.com to request a pledge form.)

Show you believe in sexual freedom for all! Donate today!

come to the "hot button" happy hour!

we've come a long way baby?

yesterday on my plane ride home, i continued reading "sex for one," bettie dodson's book about masturbation. she started consciousness-raising groups in 1973 for women to help them learn about their bodies and sexuality. the sexual revolution was in full swing yet masturbation remained taboo and unfamiliar to women across the u.s. bettie talked about women in her groups who never had orgasms and others who were ashamed to touch their genitals. others still did not know a thing ther anatomy.

fast forward nearly 40 years - are women in the same boat? have we progressed? i wonder. this weekend i am facilitating a sex toy workshop and i can guarantee some women will not know the location of their clits. others will tak about hating to give blow jobs (but givng them nonetheless). and others will be embarrassed to discuss sex at all.

why? many reasons. sex ed is still absent in most schools. conservative ideals dominate this country with oppressive and antiquated notions about sexuality. sex in media is glorified and romanticized. women might feel reluctant to share their stories for fear of being cast as inadequate and less than. women pass judgement and attach the slut label to any women celebrating her sexuality. our sexuality remains repressed.

and when i say sexuality, i don't mean merely the act that happens in between the sheets. i mean the wide rage of sexuality, including our ability to receive love, our love of self, our ability to choose bear children or remaining childless. others are dictating how much, what kind and with whom we have sex.

so i ask you...have we come a long way baby? someone shed some light and help me see the brighter side. please.

some things never change

(disclaimer: this is heterosexually focused. i realize domestic violence happens in same sex relationships and also happens where the female is abusing the male.)

girl meets boy. boy falls in love with girl. boy kicks the shit out of girl. girl gets blamed for staying in relationship. boy gets off the hook.

i didn't think i would have the chance to comment on this story since it happened 2 weeks ago. but today i heard that tomorrow's dr. phil show is on reasons women stay with their abusive boyfriends. come on. that old question still? a woman gets beat up and she is the one who is forced to uprot her life to go stay in a shelter while the abuser's life (often) remains intact. the woman is then further victimized with questions about her absurd decision to remain in the relationship.

why are the choices women (are often forced to) make subject to public discourse?

why aren't we raising questions about the mindset of the abusers? why aren't we watching dr. phil ask the abuser why he continues to beat his girlfriend? why isn't the abuser forced to uproot his life and move into some unfamiliar place with abusers like him?

why is this still an issue? a tired old story.

now that's what i call family values

• MTV
• Music Videos
• MTV Shows
• Celebrity News

MTV has done it again with a whole new take on "reality tv." sex with mom and dad is sure to shake things up a bit - perhaps even to the point of nausea. i'm not sure how i feel about this concept of parents and their children exchanging sex stories under the careful watch of beloved dr. drew. on the one hand, open lines of communication facilitate understanding of and appreciation for sexuality. parents are potentially the best educators for their children about the complex topic. children and parents talking openly about sexuality demystifies the often taboo subject and can normalize a child's experience. sex is natural. sex can be healthy. sex can be pleasurable. sex makes the world go round.

unless the sex involves your parents, right?

i mean, don't get me wrong. i love the idea that my parents have hot sex. they are youthful and attractive and should be getting it on. BUT that doesn't mean i want to talk face to face with them about their desires. and lord knows i don't want them to know what a pervert i am. (even if they are already suspicious.) and i'm grown! i can't imagine having these talks as a teenager. what teen wants to ask her mother's adivce on giving blow jobs? worse yet - what teen wants to give her mother such tips!

i can't wait to see to the show. maybe i'll even ask my parents to watch. maybe.

i used to hate barbie. now she's my hero

the other day i was talking with a male, i'll call him "mike," who was outraged about the new barbie. he asked if i knew about the new doll, making her debut next month. typically conversations about barbie bore me. i could give two shits about the supposed ideal role-model for young girls, this woman who has it all. i care only because she does not represent me or many other women. if barbie were a real person, she would be 6' 0", weigh 100 lbs., and wear a size 4. Her measurements would be 39"/19"/33!"

but i was intrigued for "mike" to continue when i sensed how disgusted he was about barbie's new appearance. this ain't your mama's barbie. "black canary barbie" is based on the DC comic superhero and struts her stuff in black fishnets, patent leather stiletto boots, patent leather jacket, and bad-ass motorcycle gloves. move over angelina! while i considered this a celebration of women's sexuality, "mike" commented on the immorality and corruption of innocent girls - "fishnets," he said, "are for whores and send the wrong message to little girls." fishnets can be pretty powerful if worn on the right set of gams, i'll give him that. corrupt though, really?

women's sexuality has been demonized (think eve), pathologized (think madonna), and medicalized (think viagra for women). women are blamed for expressing our sexuality yet expected to be sexy for the male onlookers. we can encourage young girls to be mothers and housewives but frown upon any effort that encourages females to explore and express their sexuality.

i believe "mike" was possibly upset about s&m barbie because he knows that males love to ogle a fishnet-clad woman. males' sexual desires and behaviors are often encouraged or downplayed as in the "boys will be boys" mentality. i'll bet no one called the two little peeping toms in this commercial immoral or corrupt:

this double standard is as pitiful as all those laundry detergent commercials showing only women doing the work. calgon take me away.

we have to stop censoring women's sexuality when it is convenient. we can't preach against barbie wearing fishnets while condoning the swimsuit competition in the miss america pageant (or the pageant at all for that matter). or perhaps a bikini is less deviant than fishnets and patent leather. maybe black canary barbie is too kinky for a country accepting only of the sweet (read: safe) girl-next-door?

but can't we be both?

a shout out to passional's positive sex gurus

i've been gone for a minute but i'm back with the jump-off.

i want to take this time to recognize the lovely and positive sex gurus at passional boutique in philly. i have lived in philly for 4 years now but only recently visited the store. i was so thrilled when i encountered such an educated, energetic and progressive staff. i want to be a part of that and encourage people to explore their sexuality and utilize that creativity that is so often ignored. passional is an inspiration and makes me proud to be not only in the sex ed industry, but to be a sexual creature as well! sex is not what we do but who we are. live it, love it, fuck it.

Check it out: Passional

i heard that too

so a governor pays 3 grand to get his dick sucked and is forced to resign. meanwhile this hate-monger spouts inflammatory, nauseating jabber and remains in office?

shame shame

about to get medieval on your ass

a UK official has recently proposed forced sterilization on teenage girls. Forced Sterlization

where do i begin?

1) FORCE? i think it's wrong to force a 4-year-old to eat peas let alone forcing a 14-year-old to undergo a procedure that could have lasting effects.

2) sterilization does not protect a girl (or person she is having sex with) from contracting a sexually transmitted infection or HIV. an unwanted child absolutely impacts a person's life, but i'd argue that contracting HIV is potentially more life-altering.

3) it sends the message that a teenager is not in charge of her own body - it belongs to her parents. it is important for a female to remain connected to her body so that she maintains self-worth, confidence and control.

4) why must females remain the gatekeepers of safer sex? the sterilization procedure for males is far less intrusive and, at least, places the onus on males.

5) it reinforces the idea that "sex" equals a penis entering a vagina. other sexual practices are potentially risky as well but a heterosexual teen couple might believe they are safe if the female has been sterilized.

6) although incredibly difficult and not particularly a wise choice, a teenager has the right to have a child if s/he chooses. my belief is that education and honest communication - NOT draconian methods, are the best methods for preventing unintended teen pregnancy .

7) choice choice choice. a teenager should have the right to make decisions about her own body. period.

so - what do you think??

tell me your secret...

i recently read the creative and unique book called Post Secret. if you haven't checked it out, i recommend it. "PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard."

so i thought - why not ask people to anonymously submit their secrets about their sexuality! the secret can pertain to anything relating to your sexuality including confusion about sexual orientation, most embarrassing sex moment, favorite sexual position, hottest turn-ons, turn-offs, you get the point. the secret should be one that you have not revealed to anyone. it can be funny, sad, perverted, vanilla, witty, dry, whatever. just be honest, that's all i ask.

if you are up to it, all you have to do is:
1) click on "0 comments" (the 0 might show up as 1, 2, 3, etc depending on # of comments posted). it's down there in the lower right hand side of this post.
2) leave your secret anonymously

once i receive comments, i will list them on the blog for other readers to see.

oh, and one more thing. i am trying to see just how many secrets i can collect. so please, share this blog post with others!

happy writing,
e.

yo no soy senorita

i was recently in colorado visiting family. i asked my parents, who speak spanish, for the male equivalent of "senorita." my dad said "there isn't one, there is only senor." i asked for an explanation and my mother said, "it's like english where there is miss, ms., and mrs." at first i thought nothing of it.

then something clicked in me. why is it that men have the luxury of always being "mr." from the time of birth till the time of death, while women's titles change depending on marital status (and sometimes age)? this doesn't seem fair.

to me, this implies that woman exists only in relation to a partner. she is defined by her marital status and values placed upon her accordingly. a woman can't just be a woman throughout her life. yet another label putting women into narrowly defined boxes.

no me gusta senor, no me gusta

holy shit (pun intended)

this is NOT for children, the faint of heart, or anyone with an aversion to perversion. a friend passed along this information and i could not help but pass it along to you.

it never ceases to amaze me what the human mind is capable of. people will go to great lengths to express their sexuality. some call it "sick," some call it "disgusting," and some call it love. to each their own. but this shit ain't my cup o' tea (or anything else).

consider yourself warned: 2 girls 1 cup

boys vs. girls in the world series of cum

i was talking with a 50-something-year-old female client today. we were talking about her love life (or lack thereof) and i asked if she wants to be in a relationship. she said yes and then went on to say that she has sexual needs. she said a lot of women her age claim to never think about sex. "i think they are all lying," says my client, "or brainwashed by the masses."

i explain to her that women in our country are socialized to refrain from admitting to liking sex. she said, "no, that's not it. it's about cumming."

intrigued i ask her to elaborate. she said, "guys can cum so easily. if they got a prostitute they could just have sex with her without having to see her face and cum. for women, it takes more than that to make us cum. we're more complicated."

hmmm. . . "go on," i say.

"guys are indiscriminate, they can do it with anyone. women have to discriminate more because it's harder for us to cum. if we could cum more easily, we'd probably be more indiscriminate too."

so - what do YOU think?

The great porn debate

Is Pornography Really Harmful?

By Michael Bader and Vivian Dent, AlterNet. Posted November 7, 2007.

In response to Robert Jensen's controversial book, Getting Off, two clinical psychologists debate the intersection of violence and sexual fantasy.

Read all about it: Healthy or Harmful?

have a bloody good halloween

my sister-in-law found this great site that shows you how to create tampon crafts. i love it!

check it out: Tampon Crafts

hello advertisers, the 1950s called, they need their commercials back

i really wasn't going to touch this issue. i feel it's played out and overdone. but i couldn't resist beating that dead horse when i heard "boys. what can you say? they're just built different." BARF!

this is 2007. we have a female speaker of the house, a woman running for president, and men all over the country staying home to raise their young. so why do advertisers insist on bombarding us with these sexist ads? They brainwash young girls into thinking that doing laundry is f-u-n and "taking care of my home is a dream, dream, dream." this is not the 1950s. our dreams transcend baking muffins. the message is clear, girls are sweet and nurturing and love to rearrange that furniture. please!

meanwhile, boys are taught to be strong and brave. they learn that boys will be boys and that they are just built different. this encourages independence and creates an industrious spirit where boys are allowed to become scientists, engineers, tractor drivers. eeeh yikes - so maybe all messages aren't positive.

still. why such a strong distinction between toys made for girls and those made for boys? i know some studies show that socialization has little impact on the types of toys boys and girls select at a very young age. research tries to imply that children are too young to be influenced by tonka commercials. my concern isn't that all toys be gender neutral.

my concern is the advertisements. the commercials that overtly suggest that women are born to be in the home while boys are made for the rough and tumble real world. it is not only inaccurate but has potentially dangerous consequences. we all know what happens when date rape is excused because "boys will be boys."

all i ask is that advertisers throw us a bone. put a boy in the kitchen with suzie so they can bake together. let little mikey play trucks with heather. girls like dirt too.

and another thing. must they always be little white kids? are latinos, blacks and asians reserved for the CW network or telemundo? or do advertisers think people of color are too poor to afford toys?

give us a break ok? at least try to make your sexism (and racism) less transparent.

your ass WILL swallow it

when engaging in anal play:

DO go slowly - start first with your pinky finger only.
DO use lots of lube
DO use toys with a flared base or handle

DON'T stick an entire object up yer ass. you WILL end up in the e.r.

check it out: Foreign Body In The Rectum